Yesterday, Em and I were invited to follow Mom back in the radiation area to see the machines and technology and most of all to meet the people she talks to every day. Mama has always as long as I can remember been able to draw people out and take interest in their lives even in the strangest of circumstances. She knows all about Lindsay’s little girl, Sadie and her new purple dress and Dave’s oldest daughter is graduating and wants to be a dentist and Sheri has two sets of twins who all have beautiful names. Mama makes it sound so happy back there and yet I confess to being a little surprised and shocked by the complexity and magnitude of the technology. When you nurse a burn and then see its source there is a feeling I can’t quite accurately put into words. It is neither antipathy nor awe but perhaps a sense of utter helplessness. It is at such times as these we need a proper perspective of the sovereignty of God and His incredible “bigness” so we realize our own smallness and the transience of everything else in this world compared to Him and eternity.
Now I understand Mama’s face more, how eagerly and successfully she tried to protect all of us from bearing her burden. She hesitated just the tiniest bit telling us we were invited to come back with her. I’m glad we did and now more excited than ever there are only three more treatments left. During treatment Mom has been trying to memorize the first part of Romans 8 out loud, “There is therefore now no condemnation…” She says she always gets mixed up in verse 2 and starts over and over again because every 30 seconds or so they come in to switch fields. She just realized during the last “pep talk” they give right before they leave the room that they mentioned an intercom so if she has any questions or needs they can hear her at all times. We enjoyed a hearty laugh imagining their faces as they listen to her frustrated attempts to memorize. :o)
While we were waiting for Mama, Em walked over to the piano without any music and played like I believe only Emily can play, conversationally… For the sake of not expanding an already lengthy post I’ll leave it at that one word description. :o) I brought a book to read but all the while words from her music ran through my mind. He who alone can read thoughts of the heart has pity and tenderly ministers through the truth of precious words.
"There is a Redeemer, Jesus, God's own Son,... Thank you oh my Father, For giving us Your Son,…"
"Oh, ’tis not in grief to harm me While Thy love is left to me; Oh, ’twere not in joy to charm me, Were that joy unmixed with Thee…."
"Perish every fond ambition, All I’ve sought or hoped or known. Yet how rich is my condition! God and heaven are still my own."
"Soul, then know thy full salvation Rise o’er sin and fear and care; Joy to find in every station, Something still to do or bear. Think what Spirit dwells within thee, Think what Father’s smiles are thine, Think that Jesus died to win thee, Child of heaven, canst thou repine…"
"For Thyself, best Gift Divine. To our race so freely given, For that great, great love of Thine, Peace on earth and joy in Heaven…"
I wish I could “write out” the audible music that brings life and passion and soul to these familiar words; music that brought tears to the eyes of a refreshed soul and a reverie of quiet thought to the restless mind who in distant past remembers an association of poignant words to the music he hears. What a glorious vehicle for singing the praises of our Savior! Speaking of which, I am very excited for tomorrow! All my brothers and Daddy are singing in a men’s chorus for Church! Praying you all have a blessed Lord’s Day filled with the glory of our God!
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