Thanksgiving...

Thanksgiving was this past weekend.  I love this holiday.  The simple act of giving thanks brings fulfillment and rest to my soul.. 

Craig said, “you have to write a simple update and let folks know how you’re doing.”  I want a big part of this update to be filled with gratefulness, because that’s what I’m filled with.  First of all I am thankful to the Lord. He is the giver of life and all good gifts.  He does all things well and that of course includes my battle with cancer.  Up to this point, I think the reason I have had a hard time writing about cancer is possibly similar to the way our veterans feel about writing or talking about their war experiences.  I once worked with a vietnam vet who couldn’t talk about his war experience.  I was always tempted to ask him to share, but I never pressed him.  At the same time, I don’t want anyone to think for one second that I am not grateful for the work of cancer that God has done in our lives. I am in awe because of the vivid presence of God throughout my cancer journey.  Many times I came away from treatment so lifted in the Lord that everything looked a different color.  The Scriptures jumped out at me and I wanted to stay there, in the presence of the Lord.  When many things were stripped away I was reminded of who God is and what He has done.  Just thinking about it brings tears afresh.  It was a wonderful time.

Secondly, I want to thank you...friends, family, brothers and sisters in Christ.  You also were bountiful gifts of our Jehovah Jireh.  Each and every thing you wrote, said and did was a great encouragement and I know He was using you.   Almost every day I went to the mailbox I received a Bible verse and warm note.  Thank you.  The meals were so wonderful.  It was such an outpouring of love...Craig said that one day at the end of a meal...”there is love in these meals.”  Thank you for that love.  The gifts left on the door handle of the house, when I was sleeping.  The cards with names of all the folks who knew and were praying.  Thank you.  The bags of groceries left at the church for Craig to pick up every week!  The house cleaning I came home to after every treatment.  I knew the Holy Spirit came with you...my home wasn’t just clean...it was filled with the joy of the Lord.  In this way God carried me.  All the times you wanted to visit with us.  The new phone and discount parking ticket at Mayo. The hospitality for me when our whole household got the stomach flu. Thank you!  Arriving at my first appointment at 7:30 am ready to encourage me with a wig, so I would be ready when I lost my hair.  When you came over and made scarves with the girls.  When you came and sat with me through chemotherapy, the distraction was wonderful.  When you visited and brought me books and sent books.  When you told me that I looked sick, but it was good I made the effort to go to church.  When you took the boys waterskiing.  When you drove hours many Saturdays to work at the Farmer’s Market for us.  When you came to visit from far away and stayed and cooked in our kitchen.  These all are sacred gifts.  The flowers when I came out of surgery.  They were the most beautiful flowers I have ever seen.  All the guys who came and helped Craig build a road, so we could bring the pigs to market.  What an encouragement to Craig.  You all know who you are, but more importantly, God knows who you are. Thank you!  

I recently read an article about how to suffer well.  RC Sproul encourages us to watch others, visit sick people and learn from them and to practice suffering, because suffering is like a muscle that gets stronger as we do it more and then know our Bibles, so we know God is all powerful and loves us unchangeably.  Lastly he encourages us to “know well Jesus”, because He is acquainted with sorrow and “If we know Him, then we know that wherever He goes, we want nothing more than to follow”.  Go here for the full article.

About 3 1/2  weeks ago I had my last treatment of Herceptin.  I will go back in 3 months for a check up.  I have lingering neuropathy in my feet and dizziness, but it doesn’t stop me from gardening and doing everything I enjoy.  I also enjoy full range of motion in my arm that had the cording.  I have a lot of energy.  A few weeks ago, I even got to deliver a meal to another sweet lady going through cancer treatment.  It was wonderful and even more wonderful to tell her she would be able to serve others again!

May Jesus Bless Your Homes With His Presence Always and May You and Yours Know His Everlasting Love,

Karen

PS  One more thing to be thankful for...Charlie’s wrist healed very well and he’s working on the farm like before.

Some of you have mentioned an update would be appreciated... so read as you are interested. :o) We have been crazy busy over the last 6 weeks, setting the farm in motion and then launching attacks on weeds and overgrown pastures whenever the rain dries up for a bit, bringing the produce from our garden to farmer’s market, processing batches of Charlie’s chickens, celebrating Garrison’s graduation and spurring him on to continue in diligence for the cause of Christ, traveling to Florida for our cousin Caleb’s wedding, visiting and helping care for Mama’s mom in the Cities, studying the American War between the States of 1861 and reenacting, sallying out to engage culture at every turn, seeking our Master’s pleasure with ardent eagerness. Exhausting at times but thoroughly rewarding. I appreciate our friend John Moore’s quote: “Nobody looks back on their life and remembers the days they got plenty of sleep. Evil never sleeps, and our enemies rise early.”
At the same time, we are all trying to take care of Mama so she doesn’t over-stress her newly regained strength. She has been struggling a bit with spells of significant dizziness, so her oncologist ordered an MRI. Thankfully this came back clear and we celebrated. The oncologist attributes the dizziness to Herceptin, the chemotherapy drug Mama will receive through October. Mama has an appointment on Wednesday for another treatment and echocardiogram. We pray her heart continues strong enough to receive treatment and then as a side note that there would be no conflicts with insurance since Daddy is temporarily without a job during the government shutdown. May you all have blessed Independence Day celebrations remembering the wonderfully merciful providence of God in the history of our nation! 
Aubrey, for all the Lenz's

Hello Everyone,
I am writing to let you know Charlie had a follow-up appointment with his surgeon a few days ago. The doctor took one look at his x-rays and said, “Beautiful.” Apparently, the screw is holding the bone in place and the bone graft is healing well. On top of that the doctor said he may be able to use his arm in 8 weeks instead of the expected 3 months! This is definitely an answer to prayer and we are so grateful especially since Charlie is a carpenter and requires working with his hands not to mention his farming enterprises.
Mama is still healing well from her radiation burn, her infection cleared up and she has more energy though not near so much as last year at this time. We are reminded of this because of Garrison’s upcoming graduation celebration and remembering how different it was last year for Charlie! Her lymphedema has improved since her last visit to the “Lymphedema Clinic”, although she still has a tiny bit and wraps her hand. And lest we forget these things for a time the calendar reminds us of chemotherapy appointments and various follow-up consultations. But this is sort of normal now and I am glad and thankful the doctors are so efficient. Mama had a very invasive, fast growing cancer so it is absolutely important that every cancer cell disappears. And God is so faithful and good to give us any energy and strength we need to accomplish the tasks He sets before us. Thank you all for your continued prayers and thoughtfulness!
We have spent the majority of the last few days outside where the blueberries are covered in lovely creamy bell-like blooms, the apple trees flourish their aromatic boughs bedecked with delicate white and pink and the freshly mown pasture spreads out in rows thickly green, prickly and refreshingly sweet. How I love to feel the feathery tomato plants and smell their peculiar fragrance as we firm the warm dirt over their roots, and hear the little pig’s contented grunts when I scratch behind his ears and notice when his eyes are closed his mouth looks like he’s smiling. God has made labor wonderfully satisfying, and though my fingers are sore from pulling “thorns” there is full compensation in the knowledge of a task well done and completed.
"Blessed is every one that feareth the LORD; that walketh in his ways. For thou shalt eat the labour of thine hands: happy shalt thou be, and it shall be well with thee. (Ps 128:1-2) Tell the righteous that it shall be well with them, for they shall eat the fruit of their labor. (Isaiah 3:10) Nothing is better for a man than that he should eat and drink, and that his soul should enjoy good in his labor. This also, I saw, was from the hand of God. (Ecc. 2:24) The desires of the diligent are fully satisfied. (Prov. 13:4) The labour of the righteous tendeth to life. (Prov. 10:16) So I saw that there is nothing better than that a man should rejoice in his work, for that is his lot. (Ecc 3:22) From the fruit of his mouth a man is satisfied with good, and the work of his hands brings reward. (Prov. 12:14)"

Charlie’s home!!!!! :D

Charlie underwent surgery yesterday; the surgeon is confidant his wrist will eventually heal well.  He also mentioned the procedure was more complicated than he had expected. The cyst on Charlie’s scaffoid bone in his wrist was deeper than they guessed from the MRI and the fracture was not healing. They harvested bone from his pelvis bone to fill in the cyst and then used a permanent screw to pull the fracture together and hold the bone in place. Needless to say, bone grafting is very painful. Charlie is tough, and the nurses were all surprised when they heard his pain level and then saw his broad smile,how calm he was and heard his cheerful (albeit groggy) “Thank you’s”.

Garrison stayed with Charlie overnight at the hospital and this morning he came home and is sleeping with good pain management! Thank you to all who are praying!

Good Evening Dear Friends,
Isn’t the rain a blessing?! While many farmers (including ourselves) are eager for the ground to dry so we can continue planting we are grateful for His faithful watering of the earth! As Acts 14:17 says, “Yet He has not left Himself without testimony: He has shown kindness by giving you rain from heaven and crops in their seasons; he provides you with plenty of food and fills your hearts with joy.” I haven’t written an update for some time and I suppose that in itself is good news as God continues to make new and heal and provide opportunities to once again do work in the areas He has called us to minister in. On Sunday, with many of you, we remembered the resurrection of our Savior and its tremendous all-encompassing implications on our lives as Christ followers. We were discussing the providence of God with good friends and someone said, “What if we could see suffering as a trial from God for the purpose of sanctification rather than an onerous, terrifying circumstance over which God (who is good and thus could “never have anything to do with pain”) has no control?” Cancer is sometimes seen in the latter light and yet as Mama said a few moments later, “It is a gift...” A mark of His special providence for His glory and for our good that we might be drawn closer to His likeness. Remembering Jesus’ word’s to Pilate, “You could have no power at all against Me unless it had been given you from above.” (Jn 19:11)
I wrote in the last update, Mama has a mild case of lymphedema. The wraps and gloves are definitely helpful and hopefully will work to prevent any further symptoms if the Lord wills. Her radiation burn (or as we were emphatically reminded...it is not a burn but rather a skin reaction) was healing speedily until four days ago when it began to show signs of infection. She will see her doctor tomorrow and will receive an antibiotic and we pray conclusive advice in treating it. Mama’s hair has grown out short and curly so she is starting to go about all the time without her wig or a hat on which is immensely exciting for us and an answer to prayer! Charlie’s surgery for his broken wrist is scheduled sometime on Friday morning; we won’t know the time for sure till Thursday evening. We continue in prayer for Mama’s mother, Laurie Rees, who is undergoing surgery tomorrow. She is a wonderful example of patience in suffering. Many blessings on your week!
With Love,
The Lenz’s

“Praise is awaiting You, O God, in Zion;... You visit the earth and water it, You greatly enrich it; The river of God is full of water; You provide their grain, For so You have prepared it. You water its ridges abundantly, You settle its furrows; You make it soft with showers, You bless its growth.” ~ Psalm 65:9-10

Hello All,
I've written a quick update to let you know Mama’s appointments went well yesterday… You may remember the immunotherapy drug Herceptin she is still receiving negatively effects the heart to varying degrees. We learned yesterday Mama’s heart is still holding out at an ejection fraction of 62%! It is falling steadily; she was at 70% before treatment, then 65% a few months ago, but they aren't concerned until it drops to 55%. We also learned some side effects, like dizziness, can be a result of this drug and not necessarily a symptom indicating anything else is wrong. They are always careful you know, and order an MRI if anything gets worse, even sometimes just for peace of mind I think, :o) but ultimately we know our times are in God’s hands.
Mama is so thankful and excited the cording in her arm is changing and improving! The pain is less in her arm and more in her hand but overall reduced. Over the last five days, she has developed some lymphedema in her arm and primarily her hand. And I won’t tell you if she did anything in the garden or kitchen to cause it because she has been sufficiently admonished on the subject! :o) It is still quite minimal but we were equipped with all sorts of wraps and gloves and sleeves in the lymphedema clinic yesterday. This morning Mama’s hand was almost normal when she took them off so we’re hoping and praying they work well to correct whatever is wrong. So there's a nuts and bolts update on how Mama is doing. :o)
I am happy to report Grandma, Mama’s mother, is a little better. Her breathing is pretty well stabilized and she is in cheerful spirits. We are praying the doctors have wisdom in knowing how to treat various complications. At home we are all on call to run out and plant onions, potatoes, broccoli and all the other cool-season crops as soon as the rain stops and sun and wind dry out the soil for a few hours! Garrison presented a rousing speech for MCCL on Sunday and we are all working hard this week to finish winter projects before they are set aside for the labor of Summer and tangible productivity. May your week be a blessed harmony of industry and rest.

Good Evening,
I hope you all enjoyed your Sunday! As I’m sure all of you who live close noticed we woke up this morning after last night’s electrical storm to vibrant green! In Sam’s words, “It was breathtaking!” Our pasture turned from barren earth suffused with faint flushes of green to proliferate, reverberating life! Daddy explained to us how the old farmers talk about storms; you can water your crops over and over again but nothing gives them a burst of growth so well as an electrical storm. And then they surmise what exactly the electricity does to effect the growth.
For myself, such storms bring about a deep, firm renewed conviction that God is near; obviously near and I am conscious of His everlasting arms beneath, His sovereignty and with what infinite care and tenderness He protects us, His children.
He has made us wonderfully aware of His presence these last few weeks as we have needed it so much. Mama’s mother, Laurie Rees has been in the hospital for the last week with a broken leg, breathing difficulty and other issues. Thankfully, Mama and some of us have been able to drive up and be with her several times and we are praying for peace for Grandma, relief from discomfort and protection in the hospital from sickness.
We also learned on Wednesday that Charlie’s scaffoid bone in his wrist was indeed broken in the accident. He will have surgery on April 29 involving bone grafting to correct the injury and then hopefully if all goes well it will heal in the next three months.
On a more joyful note, just today Mama’s radiation burns are beginning to heal! Of course they grew worse and were not at all pleasant but she has been so diligent in taking care of and dressing them they are finally healing. She has so much to heal from but continues to be strengthened by God and is selfless in her care of all of us. As I have said before, your prayers and encouragement are a great joy and comfort to us. May Jesus richly bless you and afford us opportunities to be a blessing to you as you have to us.
With Love,
Aubrey for all the Lenz’s

“Sing to the LORD with thanksgiving; make melody to our God on the lyre! He covers the heavens with clouds; he prepares rain for the earth; He makes grass grow on the hills. He gives to the beasts their food, and to the young ravens that cry. His delight is not in the strength of the horse, nor his pleasure in the legs of a man, but the LORD takes pleasure in those who fear him, in those who hope in his steadfast love.” Psalm 147:7-11

Hello Dear Friends,

Thank you for writing! ... and praying. The last week has been a bit crazy talking to insurance adjusters. Thankfully, God has provided many helpful people and we had a blessed meeting with the kind lady who took in the the man who died and was like a mother to him. 

Mama continues to do well after radiation; true to what we were told, 12 days after radiation is completed, her burns are not fun, but ointments and lotions continue to provide relief and sustenance. Mentally, it is much more manageable to deal with a wound when you know there are no more treatments making it worse.

In a few days we meet with our oncologist, physical therapist, etc. to get an update on healing and continued treatment. Mom continues to receive Herceptin (imunotherapy) and physical therapy for the cording in her arm, which, incidentally has shown improvement recently! ‘So thankful for Jesus’ healing and provision throughout.  "Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and will not be afraid; for the LORD GOD is my strength and my song, and he has become my salvation." Isaiah 12:2 

Love to you all,

The Lenz’s

Mama and I are waiting for Charlie while he has an MRI, this afternoon. Yesterday, Ben, Char, Mom and I were involved in a fatal car accident on Hwy. 52. A car came up behind us going about 80 - 90 miles an hour, clipped the back of our Suburban and went flying and spinning through the air into a nearby field. The front of our car was flung into the left lane from the impact but we were able to correct and safely pull to the side of the road with minimal damage to our vehicle. I am very sorry to say the man in the other car did not live. Ben and Char ran to see if they could help but there was nothing they could do. Ben said that was the most he had ever prayed for someone at one time. We are praying for this man’s family and wisdom in knowing how to minister to his mother who we have heard was distraught. We are relatively uninjured except for varying degrees of whiplash and Charlie’s wrist which he used to brace himself since he was sitting in the middle of the backseat. A million “what if’s” cross our minds: what if the man who died had been seat-belted, (the police say he would likely have lived) what if the car had rolled one less time, what if the medic’s had arrived sooner... what if we had been driving our little car instead of the Suburban and rolled like him... And yet we know God does not focus on the “what would have happened”s. He divinely orchestrates every instance for His glory and the good of those who love Him. Job 14:5 says, “Seeing his days are determined, the number of his months are with thee, thou hast appointed his bounds that he cannot pass;” He sees what we cannot see and there are no “what ifs” in his economy but only “I AM”. 

He has dealt gently with us and allowed us to only realize bits at a time. Still we pray recollections are purposeful and wrapped in the firm knowledge of His sovereignty and omnipotence. Still these thoughts can be consuming and we pray especially for Ben and Charlie. A wise man yesterday reminded us Ben and Char were there for a reason that only God knows. So we rest again in the goodness of God and our hearts are filled with compassion for this man’s family.

It’s today!!! Mama’s last day of radiation treatment! She’ll ring the bell (you ring the bell in the lobby when you’ve finished all your radiation treatments) and then we’ll celebrate, rejoicing in another small step towards the finish! :o)  We are coming through a long valley and glance over our shoulder to see what is lost and wounded and to glorify God in victories.  As we look forward to see where God is leading, we know there will be still more trials and victories as we are continually shaped more into the likeness Christ desires for us.  I speak of our family together and wonder what is next? We are only just beginning to understand the ways we have been refashioned, ways we have been made stronger or less so.  One thing is certain, we know we are His.  We covet your prayers for patience and faithfulness in following God. Also would you pray for wisdom for the doctors and Mama in knowing how to deal with pain... cumulative pain from radiation wounds, cording and Taxol. We understand from our doctor that the radiation burns will continue to grow worse for up to two weeks after treatment and then start to heal. 

Thank you for being our faithful supporters through this. We love reading and treasure your notes on Caring Bridge, on the blog, notes, emails and calls. It is so heartening when we know you’re there and God strengthens us through your encouragement.  

With Much Love,

The Lenz’s

Yesterday, Em and I were invited to follow Mom back in the radiation area to see the machines and technology and most of all to meet the people she talks to every day. Mama has always as long as I can remember been able to draw people out and take interest in their lives even in the strangest of circumstances. She knows all about Lindsay’s little girl, Sadie and her new purple dress and Dave’s oldest daughter is graduating and wants to be a dentist and Sheri has two sets of twins who all have beautiful names. Mama makes it sound so happy back there and yet I confess to being a little surprised and shocked by the complexity and magnitude of the technology. When you nurse a burn and then see its source there is a feeling I can’t quite accurately put into words. It is neither antipathy nor awe but perhaps a sense of utter helplessness. It is at such times as these we need a proper perspective of the sovereignty of God and His incredible “bigness” so we realize our own smallness and the transience of everything else in this world compared to Him and eternity.

Now I understand Mama’s face more, how eagerly and successfully she tried to protect all of us from bearing her burden. She hesitated just the tiniest bit telling us we were invited to come back with her. I’m glad we did and now more excited than ever there are only three more treatments left. During treatment Mom has been trying to memorize the first part of Romans 8 out loud, “There is therefore now no condemnation…” She says she always gets mixed up in verse 2 and starts over and over again because every 30 seconds or so they come in to switch fields. She just realized during the last “pep talk” they give right before they leave the room that they mentioned an intercom so if she has any questions or needs they can hear her at all times. We enjoyed a hearty laugh imagining their faces as they listen to her frustrated attempts to memorize. :o)
While we were waiting for Mama, Em walked over to the piano without any music and played like I believe only Emily can play, conversationally… For the sake of not expanding an already lengthy post I’ll leave it at that one word description. :o) I brought a book to read but all the while words from her music ran through my mind. He who alone can read thoughts of the heart has pity and tenderly ministers through the truth of precious words.
"There is a Redeemer, Jesus, God's own Son,... Thank you oh my Father, For giving us Your Son,…"

"Oh, ’tis not in grief to harm me While Thy love is left to me; Oh, ’twere not in joy to charm me, Were that joy unmixed with Thee…."

"Perish every fond ambition, All I’ve sought or hoped or known. Yet how rich is my condition! God and heaven are still my own."

"Soul, then know thy full salvation Rise o’er sin and fear and care; Joy to find in every station, Something still to do or bear. Think what Spirit dwells within thee, Think what Father’s smiles are thine, Think that Jesus died to win thee, Child of heaven, canst thou repine…"

"For Thyself, best Gift Divine. To our race so freely given, For that great, great love of Thine, Peace on earth and joy in Heaven…"

I wish I could “write out” the audible music that brings life and passion and soul to these familiar words; music that brought tears to the eyes of a refreshed soul and a reverie of quiet thought to the restless mind who in distant past remembers an association of poignant words to the music he hears. What a glorious vehicle for singing the praises of our Savior! Speaking of which, I am very excited for tomorrow! All my brothers and Daddy are singing in a men’s chorus for Church! Praying you all have a blessed Lord’s Day filled with the glory of our God!

Hello Everyone, 

Wasn’t yesterday perfectly glorious? We heard another “Spring” bird. And the flowers have germinated; the tiny petunias are even gently leaning to the side as if promising to stretch their forthcoming profuse vines from plant “infancy”. Cheery welcomes of the Spring!

Mama has a count down on the ‘fridge’ (little pieces of paper each labeled with a number; 8, 7, 6, 5 etc.). She has only 7 treatments left! At first we were going to throw each number away with satisfaction and a flair… but they have Bible verses on them … and perhaps we don’t want to forget cumulative completion just yet, so Mama just flips the top number to the back. I wonder what we’ll think a year from now; will we wince or smile? Maybe both, remembering how God will faithfully test us; refine us as silver is refined… through fire and through water; brought out to rich fulfillment. (Psalm 66:8-12) “From the end of the earth I will cry to You, when my heart is overwhelmed; Lead me to the rock that is higher than I. For You have been a shelter for me, A strong tower from the enemy. I will abide in Your tabernacle forever; I will trust in the shelter of Your wings.”  Psalm 61:2-4

I forgot to credit the hymn I posted last week; it was written by Gloria Roe in 1960, “Be Calm My Soul”. Em plays this on the piano all the time so I hear it running through my mind constantly. The harmony is simply and purely beautiful.

Love to you all and have a wonderful week!

Hello Dear Friends,

Mama is still holding up through radiation; thank you all so much for praying and your continued support through this wearying aspect of treatment. Mama is beginning to be more and more tired; she sleeps fairly well at night which is an immense blessing and then naps are a necessary help throughout the day. She is also in quite a bit of pain from the cording which is growing tighter with more radiation. Her skin is being specifically radiated and though it has not blistered yet the doctor intimated it is beginning to show signs of considerable compromise and we earnestly pray for it to remain strong. Also her throat is sore and her voice a bit raspy since they are radiating the lymph nodes in that area. Through this Mama has, by the grace of God a cheerful spirit and is full of joy and peace. She was nominated to read aloud for our evening family reading time in the hope that this would prevent her from falling asleep. Mama, however, has a remarkable ability to fall asleep while she is reading aloud; her voice maintains the same volume and inflection but the words gradually represent a mixture of what is written on the line she is reading and the one directly below it. Really a fascinating effect. :o) We are thankful for the time to be together as a family. It can be exhausting and discouraging to face continual brand new challenges and we had to reset again yesterday. I think some of us (myself included) unconsciously tried flowing back into our regular Spring schedule without taking obvious setbacks into consideration and it became quite clear our pace was not sustainable. I’m glad we are able to recognize it now and work toward prayerfully making adjustments. You are all so often in our thoughts and we are filled with awe-full gratitude for your kindness to us in this time.The meals have been so cheerful, the notes so full of love, the cleaning so uplifting. Daddy’s sister, Aunt Beth came from Omaha this week and together with Aunt Susan have made themselves a wonderful blessing. Thank you all for reading, encouraging and praying. 

With Much Love,

Aubrey for the Lenz’s

We wholeheartedly echo the words of this hymn:

“Be calm my soul, faint not with care

Though burdens deep our hearts would tear;

He is the Lord, all He commands,

He holdeth me safe in His hands.

Be calm my soul, melt not in fear,

Though shadows dark press in so near,

Yet in despair I see His light;

Lead me, O Lord, with wond’rous sight.

Be calm my soul, rest in Him sure. 

No wave of doubt His words endure; 

My longing soul is satisfied,

He now leads forth, my Strength and Guide.”

Hopefully this finds you enjoying the ever multiplying signs of Spring. Ever since we came back from Tennessee we have been especially yearning for it and we aren’t acknowledging any weather reports to the contrary! :o) Emily heard a bird chirp this morning and she exclaimed, “That is a Spring bird!” There is no mistaking a Spring bird from the steady winter birds. There is a certain defiant vibrancy to their music! Then Em and I get out our Vivaldi and Dvorak and find the exact pattern, I call it a trill or grupetto, Em just plays it by ear on her violin. Mama and I picked out flower seeds and planted them and now we stare at the blank, steamy flats and literally will them to germinate. :o) 

Mama’s treatments have gone well this week. Her radiation oncologist is pleased with how she is caring for her burns which continue to be manageable. Mama also says she is not too unusually tired yet, which we are all thankful for. We met with the physical therapist again and she remarked again on Mama’s cording which is quite painfully visible all the way through her arm and wrist whenever she extends it. The therapist observed it is a pretty “hardy” case but assured us she always sees it go away within a year. The radiation oncologist thinks differently; she sees it stay permanently sometimes, so we’re praying for quick and effective healing. Thankfully, Mama’s arm is not so painful as it was two weeks ago so she doesn’t have to take pain medication to make it through radiation treatments any more. We saw a little boy named Roger going through radiation today, he had the most cheerful good-natured smile and was a joy to everyone around him. I saw what a treasure a genuine smile is and what a gift it is to those who receive it. 

Last night, Daddy was talking about trust and he described a familiar scenario for an illustration; a toddler is shopping with his daddy and as they walk through the store he has a tight hold of his parent’s hand. At some point he loses hold of that hand and you can tell everything is a bit tenuous but as long as he is near his daddy’s side he still feels pretty sure of himself. If that same child suddenly realizes he has lost sight of  Daddy in the middle of the crowd, he is horrified and... well, I’m sure we can all sympathize with his reaction! :o) Daddy explained this is like our closeness to Jesus, the farther we stray from Him the more confused and fearful we become. The inverse is likewise true; the nearer we are to Him the more we draw from His sustaining love and rest in His goodness. We are confidant He knows the number of our days to which we cannot add or subtract an hour by human effort. How wonderful it is God gave us fathers who represent a part of Him so we can understand better who He is!

We’ve just returned from daffodils “in a yellow petticoat and a green gown”, swelling buds and a few exuberant birds singing their little hearts out for joy! Spring has come to Tennessee (by a Minnesotan’s standards) and so had we for a few short days. We had hoped to make this trip for some time in anticipation of a good friend’s wedding, but only on last Tuesday did we receive certain approval from our Radiation Oncologist to miss radiation over an extended weekend if Mama had two treatments on Thursday and then returned home in time for treatment on Monday! Necessarily, our schedule was extremely tight and we were forced to give up not a few cherished and hopeful plans we’ll have to pick up on another trip. We so enjoyed being together in the car again for many hours (for the first time in over a year!) simply appreciating each other’s company and discussing our favorite topics and strategies...and being “us!” :o) We were warmly refreshed by the kindness of geographically-distant yet dear and steadfast friends.

And now home to our beloved Minnesota and the task at hand. Mama continues to manage radiation well; she has completed 1 week + 3 days of treatments out of 5 weeks and, providentially, moisturizing continues to alleviate pain from burning. God is gracious to us. Praying you all have a week filled with rest and productivity pleasing to the Lord!

This morning’s appointment was truly an answer to prayer; our radiation oncologist generously explained her treatment plan for Mama with decision and sensibility for which we are grateful. Now we can know detrimental side affects are necessary for the best end result and not possibly the result of an oversight. It is really encouraging to hear how carefully they outline and map out treatment levels; the doctor mentioned that they were able to position Mama so a smaller than average sliver of her lung and heart are scarred by radiation. She even explained the “ticking” from the electric circuits that varies based on how many lights are on in the building (16-24 ticks based on electric drain). I think she was explaining everything she could possibly think of. :o)

So thankful for good communication today!

I hope you had a glorious Sunday! Near us, the snow is flying thick and fast and the wind is whistling down the chimney only to meet an ebullient fire at the bottom, crackling and popping, casting its warm ruddy glow on contented, reflective faces. Mama has been thankful for a short reprieve before radiation starts again in earnest tomorrow. She noticed after just two treatments her skin is sensitive and very dry even with careful moisturizing. We prayed together on Friday night for strength and endurance and specifically that Mama’s skin would be strong and withstand this new treatment well. We also pray for clear communication with our doctors. It is sometimes hard to tell what degree of opinion we are expected to have and understand what they are trying to tell us. Mama was told she would be radiated in one area by her doctor and then the technologist described a much broader area right before her treatment! :ol We have an appointment with our original radiation oncologist on Tuesday which will hopefully clear it up.

We enjoyed hearing Mama’s description of the radiation desk atmosphere in contrast to “chemo”. She said it is much more casual and… jocular. :o) And for obvious reasons; they are dealing with a completely different treatment, the only similarity being they both administer medically controlled toxins. Anyway, by popular request, Mama described to us the music (like music you would hear at the local swimming pool :o) )and the radiation technologist who assumed a bit of humorous bravado for the occasion and then moved down and across the hallway during the treatment time so he doesn’t catch any scattered radiation. She told us about the big screen with the picture of waving grass and waterfalls, the red “whooga” light up near the ceiling that lights up when she is being treated, the “slats” that made a sort of grinding sound when they open and shut and then the two hot tears that fell down into her ears and couldn’t be dried because she couldn’t move a muscle. The lady who works at the reception desk on Friday has a contagious laugh and we recognize some of the people from chemo in radiation and exchange smiles of tacit acknowledgement as we pass by. :o) God is faithful in working all things for good. He says, “Call upon Me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you shall glorify Me.” (Ps. 50:15) How good He is to us and what a joy to be an instrument for His glory! We hold fast to His mercy and faithfulness and are again reminded of His words, “I will satisfy the weary soul, and every languishing soul I will replenish." (Jer. 31:25) “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.”(Matt. 11:28)

I regret not being able to update you sooner on Mama’s progress. It was certainly not my intention to ask for prayer and then not follow through with a report and I hope my tardiness does not reflect an indifferent representation of the preciousness of your notes and prayers to us. I am thankful to say Mama did well on Monday; she was able to manage the pain tolerably and her arm position was such that the radiologists felt confidant proceeding with simulation.  As Mama says, we had our own little celebration afterwards. Well, not really a “celebration”; we are grateful, but also eager to be over the next hurdle. The first treatment is today, this afternoon. Their method of using a variety of precautions including "shrink wrapping" a pillow to completely insure you remain in the same position ever time you are treated is really intriguing technology. One thing the doctor did mention was that the cording on Mama's arm will be highly exposed to radiation and most likely blister. Of course then it might not be quite as easy to continue with therapy for a time so this could be a difficult balancing act. We're praying against her arm reacting in this way and trusting that whatever the outcome God will provide strength and sustenance for Mama as she needs it. Love to you all and have a blessed day!

Hello Dear Friends, 

I am writing a brief update in anticipation of tomorrow’s radiation appointment.  First, I need to assure you all of the tremendous blessing your prayers afford us. God in His mercy was near Mama this week helping her through therapy and on Thursday especially she noticed exceptional improvement in both her range of motion and pain levels for which we are thankful. On Wednesday she was in quite a bit of pain from the cording which has spread down her arm and became sensitively painful. She called her therapist to make sure she wasn’t doing anything wrong and was assured that there was nothing more she could do except take pain medication. We were so thankful when she woke up the next morning and was doing significantly better and attribute it to nothing but the grace of God in hearing our prayers. I think Mama is doing really well; her arm doesn’t exactly look like it’s in the right position for radiation but I think it’s close enough for them to “make do” if Mama takes pain medication. On the other hand we hope and pray they don’t have to stress it to maintain a position. Please pray for wisdom for these radiologists and clear trusting communication and pray Mama’s arm would make another significant step tomorrow morning.  Thank you all so much; you truly are partners with us through this trial with your prayers. 

With Much Love, 

Aubrey for the Lenz’s

This morning’s clinic appointments started at 6:40 am! Not deliberately mind you. :o) Mama really enjoys being done with everything before afternoon so we can go on with our day and I agree. Everyone is cheerful, awake and well rested (technically :o) ). But when Mom requested early mornings, 6:40 am was not necessarily what she had in mind!  After the first thrill of watching the city wake up in the dark to the accompaniment of a variety of resources, (including very-cheerful-wake-up-music) the novelty soon wears off and the benefits of just one more hour of sleep are realized. We had a very productive morning regardless, receiving explanations and answers to questions we have had for a few weeks now about healing and pain. Mom has a pretty significant case of axillary cording which is basically extremely tight, painful cords that prevent her from using her arm with a regular range of motion and need to be “massaged out” so they don’t snap. She has new exercises and exercise amendments to work on for this next week. At the same time, the radiation doctors are anxious to start treatments as soon as possible, but they agreed to reschedule assimilation for next week and then begin radiation the following Thursday. They don’t want to radiate her arm unnecessarily (because her arm would be in the way of the machine etc.) but they also don’t want to wait too much longer and risk the radiation being less effective. We’re hoping the cords stretch out quickly and easily… Mom has noticed considerable progress just in the last few days; so keep praying! It is so important and God is graciously taking good care of Mama as well as our whole family.

We are enjoying the snow-fall here in Minnesota, covering everything in its reach with a thick clean white blanket! This makes life a bit more adventurous for Daddy and Ben who strategize on what precise time is best to pull out the Ford 8N and most efficiently and permanently clear the driveway and road near us. Daddy and the boys started a winter time study of Biblical Law in the smaller hours of the morning this week. Mom and the girls are wrapped up in books and winter-projects trying to squeeze in every bit of reading we can while this season holds its steady quiet over the earth and the sun sets early and rises late; an atmosphere so pleasantly conducive to disciplined thought. In case you are just the tiniest bit anxious for spring, just imagine bags of moist, delicious smelling earth that crumples in your hand, rich black and warm, like the ground on a sunny summer’s day on your entryway floor and you’ll know what we’re working on this week! (All the annual perennials, you know… the ones that “need” to be started early. ;o) )

We are so thankful Mama’s arm is making progress, the kind of progress where if you think back to last week and remember what she could do then and see what she can do now it’s encouraging. Thank you all for your persevering prayers and life-giving encouragement. God is so good and faithfully sustaining! Mom is getting stronger and not tiring as quickly and trying really hard to rest and not get too excited about moving too quickly. :o) We would appreciate continued prayers for healing, wisdom for pain maintenance, that Mom would know when to address it, for strength and endurance through continued therapy and that she would be able to start radiation in a timely manner, (hopefully soon, though we’re not sure when her arm will be healed and not in so much pain). Pray we would be diligent and willing in keeping up with home tasks and for good rest for Mama at night. Love you all so much!

Aubrey for all the Lenz’s

“Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.” Hebrews 10:23 “I will praise you with the harp for your faithfulness, O my God; I will sing praise to you with the lyre, O Holy One of Israel. My lips will shout for joy when I sing praise to you— I, whom you have redeemed.” Psalm 71:22-23

Good Evening, 

I trust you have had a blessed weekend! This is our first week since October that we haven’t had a clinic appointment! Yaayyyy! This was definitely deserving of some sort of celebration. So this morning, Em, Mom and I took apart our closets to “re-sort” our treasures. Packages of crocheted lace and embroidered linens our grandmothers and great-grandmothers labored lovingly over to adorn their homes with grace and beauty were tenderly unpacked, some once again fulfilling their purpose in our home, others carefully replaced in their paper wrapping for another time.  Mama is slowly but surely regaining strength in her arm; she is diligent in performing her therapy exercises and is able to extend a bit more every day. We were a little surprised at the tenacity of pain and stiffness in that arm. There is a fine line between favoring it with loss of mobility and over-stretching causing injury or harm that Mama has to experiment with and I know she would appreciate prayer for this. It looks like we will not be able to keep our radiation appointment for next week based on progress, and truthfully, I don’t think that is a huge issue of concern to us at this point. We are taking on bite size pieces of life again with faltering relish so to speak. Garrison, Benjamin and Samuel especially are progressing excellently in their studies, embracing their various subjects with a will. Last night, I hung up Mama’s beautiful flowers to dry in the dining room and she exclaimed, “Aren't you so excited those are drying!” The act is simply a tangible picture of something being finished and the blessing preserved and vigilantly stored away indelibly on our memory. God is redeeming this suffering and sorrow in sometimes apparent and sometimes yet imperceivable ways. He is so faithful in working all things for the good of those who love Him. “More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” Romans 5:3-5 

Bless you all tonight, 

The Lenz’s

Good Morning Everyone, 

I’m sorry for the delayed update about Tuesday and the day before... very full days at the clinic. But good too. Mama was excited to have her drains removed finally, Daddy thinks they are the strangest invention. :o) Mama is pleased with her physiotherapist, an encouraging, sanguine lady. They noticed Mama’s right arm was swelling a bit and the surgeon’s assistant said, “I know who to call.” :o) The appointment was helpful from a healing and hopeful prevention of lymphedema perspective.  

Our oncologist reviewed the pathology results with us. He used words like wonderful and fabulous.  He asked rhetorically if we had told everyone on the surgical team what a good oncologist he was and when we readily assented he offered to write us up an appointment with psychology. ;o) This reminds me of Ben’s unpredictable style of humorously drawing attention away from the commonsensical, substantiated facts of life, while making himself the object of jesting deprecation. :o) 

We also consulted with our radiologist who recommended radiation for Mom citing studies that prove significant increased survival percentages with treatment. Tentatively, Mom is scheduled for treatment the first week in February. But considering how sore her arm is and how impossible it is for her to imagine lifting it above her head, we suspect she may need a few more days to heal. They did intimate their preference to begin as soon as possible to prevent any cancer cells from developing radiation resistance or immunity. So, that is the next battle and we pray for continued peace and assurance and clarity for all the decisions to be made.  God has been so gracious to us in sustaining Mama and protecting her from many complications, only giving us what He knew we could handle, making the treatments so effective, relationally drawing us all closer to Himself and each other, and giving us the love and support of you, which has been an incredible, unexpected blessing. 

I hope this finds you cozy and warm. Blessings on your day!

Lenz’s 

For those interested: :) 

On the practical side of life...we have finished our tiling project with relatively few mistakes. Uncle Steve and Aunt Susan generously and patiently taught us to do the project ourselves! We were remarking on how kind it was that our parents allow us to learn a skill that will benefit future homes through experimentation on their’s...I suppose you could also say the boys are so wonderful for making free (if imperfect) home improvements! Ha :) A center of independently-functioning, economically sustainable and distinctly efficient industry at it’s best!  As I write Charlie is drilling the last few screws before we sand and stain his cabinet. We are thankful Mama had the bright idea to introduce projects! The time has flown by and work discussions have provided an excellent diversion.

We are rejoicing having just received the final pathology report. All tissue was negative!  Excepting two microscopic in situ disease cells. Pathology has confirmed that the cancer was responsive to chemotherapy. We are so thankful the chemotherapy was effective in destroying the cancer and then also for a thorough surgeon who was skillful and confidant. Even though technically Mama is cancer free (by our deduction) we know she will still have continued immunotherapy and radiation. We are incredibly thankful that the doctors know this cancer so well and so know what treatments bring the best outcome. And then overall so thankful for the ultimate Healer who orchestrates everything for His glory and works in ways we never could have imagined to draw us near to Him. 

Mama is continuing to heal and her voice is coming back by turns. Yesterday, Em and I were working on something in the kitchen and suddenly I turned around and caught Mom casually putting a pot in the oven. Not good! :o) We all forgot the last few days in a merry burst of laughter! :o) I don’t believe we could ever be quite successful in making her corner interesting enough to keep her there long despite its pleasantness. Mama is so much a part of the inner workings of this home it is hard when she is necessarily inactive for a time, but it is requisite for her healing. Knowing this in advance, she planned all sorts of projects before surgery for us to do while she was healing. :o) Consequently, Uncle Steve and Aunt Susan are helping the boys grout and tile one of the bathrooms and Charlie is building a bathroom cabinet, so there is busyness and no idle staring out of windows here. 

We are so grateful for your continued prayers and love. Blessings on your day!

Good Morning Dear Friends,

THANK YOU for all the kind notes posted! They are precious encouragement to us! Mama is home in her corner with favorite books and music, a cup of tea and flowers. :o) She is still doing well keeping on top of the pain. We are hoping her voice comes back soon; she is hoarse from the breathing tube during surgery so she can still only whisper. We are told that will go away quickly. Hopefully! :o) We miss Mama's voice and laugh. We're praying for healing and continued protection against infection and sickness.

We are also waiting on the pathology report.We were told we would hear last night but as far as we can tell they are very busy and must not have all the results yet.

Last night we read Psalm 103 together, reflecting on the goodness of God.

"Bless the LORD, O my soul; And all that is within me, bless His holy name! Bless the LORD, O my soul, And forget not all His benefits: Who forgives all your iniquities, Who heals all your diseases, Who redeems your life from destruction, Who crowns you with lovingkindness and tender mercies, Who satisfies your mouth with good things, So that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s... As a father pities his children, So the LORD pities those who fear Him. For He knows our frame; He remembers that we are dust..."

May you all have a blessed day!
Love to you all!

Mama came out of recovery last night at 5:30 pm. She was doing well with big smiles and ready to celebrate being up and over the hill. :o) The nurses told her the good news but she didn’t quite understand what they were saying until Daddy explained it to her again and then she was really surprised and thankful for the good news so far. 

As we expected, Mama struggled a bit coming off the anesthesia. She had apnea from some of the narcotic pain drugs which prevented her from coming out of recovery right away.  This morning she was finally able to keep a whole meal down; she was so hungry! She is doing really well now; her pain level has become manageable and the surgeon said she is healing wonderfully. Actually, we are surprised; we expect to go home soon within the next few hours possibly! 

Mama asked me to especially thank you all for prayers. They were an immense blessing to her!

Mama was transferred to recovery so we may see her in an hour or less from now. The pathology results for the lymph nodes will come tomorrow. We just received very good news from our surgeon's nurse! They discovered there was no residual tumor but rather what they called fibrotic tissue where the tumor had been. The margins around the tumor were also negative! We are so overwhelmingly grateful and praising God.

Thank you to all the faithful prayer warriors joining us in coming before the throne of grace.  Mama has been in surgery for about an hour and a half.  Daddy, Aubrey and Garrison are now waiting in her assigned room in the Eisenburg building (Methodist Hospital) We will continue to update you as we know more as well as when she is in recovery.
Love,
Emily for all

Per request, we wanted to share a few times with you today. Karen was checked in at 5:45 am this morning.  They have just taken her away with a smile on her face.  We are told they probably won't start surgery until 8:00 or 8:30 and then she will be finished in about four hours. (We are on the 2nd floor of Eisenberg, Desk 2-4.) Thank you for your prayers!!  Love, Craig, Garrison and Aubrey

Greetings Dear Friends,

Just a quick update on Mama; her pre-op appointments went well today and she was especially aware of and thankful for prayers. We will most likely check in for surgery early tomorrow morning. Besides prayer requests for safety, our earnest desire is that we would represent Christ well and be a light for His name, that we would be a witness to His faithfulness and through His Spirit bring encouragement to others. The boys and Daddy have kept a prayer vigil in the middle of the night for Mama that has been a blessing for all of us.  We have a firm assurance in God’s sovereignty and yet are continually more and more convinced of the effectiveness of prayer (Ja. 5:16) because it pleases Him (Pr.15:8). 

He came near when we called on Him; He said, “Do not fear.” (Lam. 3:57)

I will try to update you tomorrow night or the next. We are so thankful for all your prayers and your continued faithful acts of kindness; we are strengthened for this task by your love! May you all have a blessed evening! 

A treasured verse a good friend recently shared with us: 

“But let all those that put their trust in thee rejoice: let them ever shout for joy, because thou defendest them: let them also that love thy name be joyful in thee. For thou, LORD, wilt bless the righteous; with favour wilt thou compass him as with a shield.”

Psalm 5:11-12

Hello Dear Friends, 

We have had quite a long, eventful day. In the morning, we learned from several forms of imaging that Mama’s tumors are either small tangles of non-cancerous tissue or extremely shrunk cancerous tissue, either scenario being good news! Praise God! Mama wore her wig to day and one of the ladies who did her imaging thought she might look into getting one herself. :o) 

Our oncologist was pleased with these results as well as Mama’s healing from nerve pain, although he did say based on her current pain levels he thinks she is done with Taxol. 

We also met with our surgeon and are set up for surgery next Tuesday. Mama is participating in another interesting study designed to determine whether it is the safest option to liberally remove lymph nodes or if a person having already received chemotherapy would be able to keep the majority of their lymph nodes. Our surgeon does not believe the latter option is safe for Mom since she had such a significant presentation on a sentinel lymph node, so Mom will lose most of the lymph nodes in her right arm. However, the pathologists will examine whether they all needed to be removed or not. Of course Mama is excited to be a part of this research since it would be extremely beneficial from a lymphedema perspective if the premise of the study were true. 

So we will be reading and preparing and making sure Mama is rested this week. We would very much appreciate prayer, that Mom would remain physically healthy and strong and have continued assurance in being safe in the hands of God. Also pray that the surgery itself would go well, that the doctors would be skillful and complete and that she would not have another negative reaction to anesthesia or any other complications, that the doctors would be wise in their application of anesthesia deciding whether or not to use spinal numbing or more anesthesia since Mom is particularly sensitive to the latter. Pray our minds will be ready and strong and free of anxiety, even though this is not an entirely foreign road for us. Pray we would have complete trust in our faithful God who has taken us under His wing and tenderly carries us through. 

Thank you so much! Love to you all, 

the Lenz’s